My first time!

It was the summer of 2003 and it was the year that i was to enroll into junior college in Japan when my friend Ryoko called me that she wanted to learn english.

I do call her a friend till this day but back than it was actually a lot different because ryoko was the type that tried everything to be accepted by the cool group at senior high school, from becoming to the captain of our tennis team just to get involved with the group of "cool" girls and having her first cigarette with us and getting involved with boys to name a few.

Still we all just turned 19 that year and everyone went their own direction for junior college but of course we kept in touch with eachother which was easy for us because we had the whole summer and her plan was to learn english cause her dream was to join a study program in Australia which would only be possible if she passed the IELTS test, and not that im the one to ask for advice when it comes to english since all i did at highschool was get into trouble with boys but she still ended up asking me for advice cause i did live in america and spent my elementary school days in Texas.

Her plan was to find an english teacher and learn english during the summer (while the rest of us just wanted to have a fun summer) so i told her that it was a good idea to get an english teacher and actually forgot about the whole thing till she called me again a week later saying that she found a teacher online and that she was supposed to meet up with him for the first time but didnt wanna go alone cause her english sucked and she was afraid that he might be a creep.

Of course it's only a simple guess to find out what happened next, which is that she asked me to join her so that she wouldn't have to go alone and of course i realised that it was gonna be a horrible day if i did go because i know the type she is and that i would have to do all the talking.

Besides the chances of the guy being hot weren't hopeful also cause everyone knows that english teachers in japan are mostly creepy English or australian guys but while thinking that she told me that he's american and 32 years old and that he's a professional teacher.

I decided to go for it and we were all supposed to meet up in front of Yokohama station on a saturday afternoon which was alright for me cause i knew saturday night was gonna be fun with my real friends anyway so the days passed by and again i didnt give much thought to it (which mainly was cause i had my highschool boyfriend and i was mainly texting him and not doing much)

but then saturday arrived and i was reminded by her early in the morning that in the afternoon that english teacher thing was that day.

I ate breakfast and told my mom that i was going out, and it's not like i dressed to impress because i had no expectations whatsoever, it more felt like a drag of having to go to school but still it's yokohama central area so i have to wear atleast something fashionable cause i don't wanna run into someone i know and having to explain.

So took the train to Yokohama and  was still texting Ryoko that i was delayed while i was on the train and stuff but then when i got there it was Yokohama as usual, crowded and humid!

But i thought i was actually running late so i went to the front of the station but she wasn't there so i decided to text her again and waited.

What are you supposed to do in the mean time?

Try as hard as possible trying to Look like someone that is waiting, but i didn't get a reply back after 10 minutes and i got a bit of frustrated cause it was saturday and i could have been with my boyfriend or done loads of other stuff at that time!

so i decided to call her but she didn't answer so i thought as always Ryoko chickened out, just like she did a lot of times.

But at the sametime it was a relief cause i could go and do something else.

Till it all started!!!

As soon as i wanted to leave a voice spoke saying, HEY ARE YOU RYOKO???

And i turn around being shocked because i was a little confused but i said No im not Ryoko to which he said something like, oh your english is good and that he was waiting for Ryoko.

I just thought OMG he is black!!!!!!!!!!!!

And in japan black guys have quite a bad reputation, especially if they wear like baggy clothing and a cap.

but i dunno why but i explained him that im her friend and that i was supposed to meet up with her also cause she was supposed to meet up with her english teacher.

All i remember that he did was wink and say, we can have some fun also.

Now i dunno what that means so i told him that i have to go cause my friends are waiting but he came across a little pushy for my taste cause he wanted me to go and have a drink with him across the street at starbucks because he travelled far to get to yokohama.

All i can say is that i was DUMB! because i was already feeling uncomfortable talking with him but i felt bad and said that i will have a drink with him.

And the thing that was surprising to me was that on the way to starbucks he didn't shut his mouth!

because normally japanese guys give a lot of awkward silence moments when you walk with them but he asked me a lot and mainly why i speak english so gooooodddddd lol

but i wasn't paying attention cause i just thought i didn't wanna be seen with him because what if i come across friends????

So i was happy when we arrived at starbucks because it's a little dark in there but we got a drink and sat down (and still people gave me that look like im crazy being with this black guy)

we sat down and he kept talking again and all i did was texting Ryoko how much she sucks for dumping me and actually lying, saying that i was on my way home already. but as im holding my phone he reaches out to my arm and says that i am in love with my phone, so i tell him that i actually have a boyfriend so i cant love my phone (i was dumb lol) but it was the moment that i changed myself around and actually gave him some attention and i found out that he was actually in japan because his gf is japanese and that he was making music and wanted to make money with that. i became a bit relaxed and told him really a lot of bad stuff about Ryoko because i was still pissed off at her. but it was all unimportant because thinking back now his playing the nice guy and all his motives had a purpose which i was about find out about soon.

All i can say is that he was totally different from what i was used to because during the conversation he kept touching my hands and underneath the table i kept feeling his leg pressing against mine, and of course im not dumb so i know what he was about....atleast i thought i knew and had it figured all out but i was starting to like it.

But yeah on my terms it was supposed to end soon and i was gonna go and wish him goodluck with finding what he wants till he asked me if i wanna come to his place cause he felt we had a good click and i should hear his music since i like R&B and hiphop also.

Now i dunno if im gonna admit right now that it was the excitement of doing something that i wasn't supposed to do since i have a bf or it was because i am doing something that nobody can find out about because my friends will DUMP ME!

but i knew what i wanted at that time, i loved the feeling and i said to him that it would be alright to hear his music, but since he lived far i wanted to know where.

Again he was lying about that because he said that he lived at shin koyasu which is like 15 minutes from yokohama so that wasnt far.

What did i get myself into????

because we were walking back to yokohama station and again i saw all the looks, he was talking during the whole time but i did not pay attention to his words.

Till we got our tickets and got to the platform and we got onto the train, finally it hit me that i might have taken a step too far because some realization sunk in and i panicked and i dunno if he noticed or whatever but we were sitting next to eachother and the train wasn't full or anything but i became embarrassed when he placed his hand on my leg!!! not my pants but my leg!!

cause im wearing a skirt and he's black and all these old people are looking at me with a dirty face and he tells me not to worry!!

I dunno if i was gonna throw up or whatever but i felt like getting out till he squeezes my leg and kept talking about his music.

I never felt so happy to get off the train because it felt like it was all over but then as we walk out of the station he tells me that it's close by so i shut up and became "japanese". looked straight forward and didn't think about what was happening around me.

We arrive at his place and all i can think is WOW this is where poor people live!

but he opened the door and  got into the elevator and as soon as we got into the elevator he was standing behind me and placed his hands on me while he said we're almost there.

At this time my phone was buzzing and making noise but i was numb, completely numb till we got up to his place and it looked really shabby with just a room where his bed was and his computer was and a desk and nothing else!

Clothing was laying all around and i just thought it was dirty.

he asked me if i wanted a drink as but i kept numb and shook my head that i didnt want anything but he walked away and i noticed that it didn't smell all to fresh in there and i saw condom packs laying around!!!!

It shocked me and for a minute i thought while he's in the toilet i should run away but i was too late because he came back and told me to sit down!!!

But where cause there's no table or chairs or anything so he told me to sit on the bed and i did and just clutched onto my purse and he  stood infront of me and asked me if i smoke????

I told him that i didn't but he said he was talking about weed. and  keeps telling me to relax a bit cause he's a nice guy and he starts smoking weed and insists that i should try it because it will make me relaxed.

Normally i really try to be in control of everything but i was excited and i wanted to do bad stuff so i took it from him and i tried but i just ended up coughing and he ended up laughing.

Then i was feeling a bit dizzy and my mouth was becoming dry as he walked away and turned on music i quickly took a sip from his drink and thought again that i was gonna throw up from the feeling in my stomache.

But yes i was high lol and slowly the music became more interesting as he walked back and sat down next to me on the bed asking if i feel relaxed.

i was actually so what was i supposed to say???

He then asked me if i had sex with my boyfriend or if i was a virgin and i said i slept with my boyfriend already.

He then asked me if i like black guys and i really didn't know what to say cause of the bad image they have so i just said that i like to watch mtv and that sometimes they look hot.

While all this is happening he places his hand on my leg again and pushes my head to the other side and starts kissing my neck and i just feel shocked while he asks me if i know why he wanted me to come to his place??????

At this time it's hard to think straight and i just speak out FUCK IT!

and i throw my purse to the side start to kiss him back and things went bad cuz he grabbed my breasts and my hair and we started kissing and his hand goes under my skirt and as he rubs me while we're still kissing and he lifts it up and i feel his big fingers going to my pussy, and yes of course im wet by this time and he we're still kissing and he tells me to get up and take my clothes off.

So i dunno what to do and he stand up with me and takes his shirt off and undresses me but i wanna take my shoes off and he wants me to keep them on but then i wanna sit down cause i fel exposed but he holds me back and starts kissing me again and my breasts.

From that moment i also realised that i like a mans body a lot iif it's in good shape cause he was so muscled!!! and i wanted to touch it but i was afraid so i was just still till he takes his pants down i was SHOCKED!!!!!!

It was dark!!! and big!!! and then he says i hould sit on the bed and kiss it for him but i never done that before cause with my bf we just had sex and my bf was not so bigggg and his had no hair!!!

At this moment i freak out and ask him how???????????

thinking back i must have sounded really dumb and maybe he thought it also cause he just pushed it towards me and i opened my mouth and started licking it like it was an icecream and it gets even bigger so i just start to imagine that im with my bf but everytime i look up and open my eyes i see this big black penis there and i look up and i see this bald black guy looking down and smiling.

I dunno howlong that took but he told me to get up and lay down on the bed and he i saw him walking away to get those condoms from next to his computer where i saw them before and i have to admit that of course im horny but also that i dont know this guy and that he's black and that im naked and that i just sucked his dick!!!

but before i realize anything he's back already putting the condom on and coming closer to me, above me and then holding my legs up and feeling between my legs and spitting on his hand and rubbing me again till i just close my eyes and i feel this thing between my legs pressing against me and i feel it going in and im dying at this point because its too big!!! and i tell him it hurts and close my eyes again but he didn't care i think because he pushed harder and i try to get away a bit but he was strong so he pulls me back from my shoulders and i feel like im dying so i say to myself that i should just hold on and even as my eyes are closed i feel his face coming closer and he kisses me again! so i kiss back but its hurting but feeling good at the same time so i put my legs up around him and tell him not to hurt me but at that time i came for the first time in my life because i felt some tingling in my stomach and it felt like my muscles were getting relaxed all over my body all at once and i thought it was over and i was back to reality seeing this guy there again and still feeling him in me and not paying attention to me but it didnt last long because he said i should get on my knees but i didnt have energy for it so he tossed me around and that was the first time that i learned what doggystyle is but i honestly had enough after i came already because i felt like falling asleep already but he kept going till he came also because he was screaming and i never heard a guy scream during sex, i never heard a guy making any sound during sex actually but as soon as he got off i felt weird cause i know i did something unhealthy and crazy and if anyone would find out they would say i was crazy and i was embarrassed and my home felt very far away all of a sudden but he didn't care much cause he was just laughing again and saying that i must have been a virgin and bla bla bla

At that moment i just wanted to go home as soon as possible, but he wanted that also cause he said that his girlfriend is visiting later and that i should get going when im ready.

I just desperately looked for my clothes and wanted to get out of there but before i went he wanted my number and said that we should meet up again and i just gave it and nodded yes but in the back of my head i knew i WOULD NEVER do that again and it would be something i have to live with.

I really just rushed out his house and wanted to get to the train and go home but it felt weird cause it felt like when people looked at me they knew what i had done and even if they didn't.

Thinking back to it now it was was really fun but back than i was just very ashamed and hoped i could forget it all

The first time i slept with a stranger

The first time i cheated

The first time i slept with a black guy

The first time i gave a blowjob

The first time i came

Afterwards i never told anyone about it, just blamed Ryoko and lied to her that she bailed on me till she told me  years later that she actually went to australia and then came back to visit japan and told me that she was sleeping with the husband of the family where she was staying.